WOW, what a thread … I could go on for days, but here’s three to share:
FASTEST: Extremely modified Trans Am on Salt Flats – 206. That was the hairiest drive I ever took. Notes: A) The ‘Flats’ aren’t that flat and it’s quite unnerving from 120 on up. B) The Duct Tape on the side windows (to keep them from blowing out) would start to peel away making you were scared the window was going to pop, disturbing air flow and causing a wreck. C) Sweating the sun block off and getting one of the worst burns of my life.
CRAZIEST: Testing with Mercedes Benz as a rally and R & D driver, (didn’t make the cut), had us as passengers in a tricked track car for our final dinner before going home. We knew the driver was one of the best, but when you’re barreling down the M6 doing 160 and the cars don’t move out of the way … he’d tap them from behind. Not one car, but several, if he came up on them and they tried to out run him, he’d weld it to the floor till he tapped them. This was insane, and when asked about what the H*ll he was doing, his response was as cool as cream …(use your Hogan's Hero's accents and say): “It’s road courtesy and the law to allow the faster car to pass long before he’s upon you, but, sometimes you have to remind them with a little tap on the tuukusâ€�
WORST (& only funny now): There are several in this category with some from my rally days filled with tragedy, but the funniest of the worst was on Thanksgiving 1985, running pretty late for the Big Bird Dinner, going out to my parents house in West Jersey on a newly opened, virtually deserted highway, Rt. 78, (well, it was new back then). I had a factory team rally Saab 900 Turbo that was state-of-the-art for it’s time, endless aero mod’s, a tweaked motor & turbo and a water injection system for the intercooler. I had 22 miles to go with not a car in sight … so I stood on it. Maxing out around 160 I had just blast passed a Trooper waiting in the median. Waiting to see his light go on and pull out … but that never happened. Over a few more inclines and my exit would be coming up, so I kept the pace, saw taillights up ahead, slowing gradually, I can see there’s more than 1 set of taillights … at once it seemed as if there were 4 squad cars, all turning their lights on at once. Essentially, you can’t out run the radio! As I came up on them they motioned me to the shoulder. Was told by every officer that you just shouldn't do anything wrong on a night like Turkey Day … as there’s nothing making a good mood out of an officer who can’t be with his family on that holiday, and I was going to pay. To cut the story to the ‘worst part’ … I spent that night locked up. The county judge imposed maximum fines for a barrage of tickets, including one that read 168 in a 55 – and since I had ‘doubled the speed limit’ this allowed him to add the following; Endangering The Welfare Of Others. That charge was a jail able offense and I was sentenced to 8 weekends of garbage cleanup with the Hunterdon County Inmates. Yup, 8 weekends of the orange jump-suit, endless beeping and shouts of what losers we all were (and other things I can’t post here) being yelled by passing motorists.
Hope you all enjoyed as much as I’ve enjoyed yours.
P.S. – No, I haven’t learned my lesson – 22 year later I had it up to 162 in the Porsche this summer. Who needs drugs when we’ve got good motoring in clean sleds to do.
Safe & Ticket-Less Motoring to you all.
But the fastest I've gone on land is 140.
on her face after dusting a Cadillac.