I give up trying to be nice...

Lefteris.

New member
Usually when you someone does you a favor, the least you can do for them is acknowledge the favor by at least abiding to some kind of deal in return.



Basically, I thought I would be nice and give my father a nice autopian detail, not just a quick AIO polish and wax. I went full out, taking 2 days to complete the car to complete perfection. I did this in the spring time around April.



After I did the detail for him I told him to make sure he takes care of the car, I bought him some supplies to maintain it, microfibers, soap, QD, the works. To at least prolong the swirling. Fast forward a few months later after I come back from Greece in August, I come home to see him washing the car, mitt on the concrete, while another one is being used to clean the wheels which later goes on to the hood. I feel as if someone is scratching a chalkboard with their nails as i see that happen.



I confront him about it (I clearly told him proper washing, 2BM, etc etc) and hes like what difference does it make... its still shiny giving me a disgusted look as if i told him he was an idiot. I bit my tongue and just laugh it off. Im just like w/e forget it, none of my business its his car. As I leave the house, on the way to my car, I inspect the car in the sunlight, and almost died to see how my hard work had just been annihilated into a swirl orgy. I just shake my head and just ignore it.



Recently, as in 2 weeks ago he asks me to do his car again. Why you ask? Because he managed to make the car look like it was washed with steel wool. I politely do him the favor and detail it again, putting another 12-14 hours into it burnishing it down with PO85RD along with 5 layers of Zaino Z2 so hes ready for the winter. I get the car to perfection yet again, sans a few RIDS produced by him. (dont want to take out too much clear). I shocked myself at how good of a job I did on it. I just sat and stared at it for a while because ive never seen an Orient Blue 330i look that good. I express and emphasize the importance of proper maintenance,



So much for that... I just got home from work today, I washed my car, gave it another layer of 845IW. I go into the garage and I notice his car is washed. I know for a fact its the first time its been washed since I detailed it. I ask him where he washed it. Of course this time he makes it even worse, and instead of washing it himself, HE TAKES IT TO A CARWASH!! This place is practically an assembly line pushing out cars in under 2 minutes... the sponges are all tossed on the floor over there, they honestly do not care about anything.



As I walk into the garage i turn the light on to inspect it. JESUS, the entire car is ****ED!! like no joke, its ridiculous how many swirls they had put into the paint after just one wash. I confront him about it in a polite funny way, and he gets defensive about it. I just walk away, and that my friends is the last time he is ever going to see my hands touching his car again. I am never going to devote any of my free time trying to be a nice caring son and take car of his car. If he ever asks me to do it again ill make sure he gets the picture...



Sorry for my rant, im just furious because well, i took time out of my busy schedule to do something nice, and I get **** all over for it. I wouldn't complain if it were tiny swirls, but they were heavy, I didn't even need to put on the flood lights, they were visible with really dinky dim light.



CLIFFS: Fully detail fathers car 2 times, both time swirled within weeks beyond belief. Stubborn, and gets angry at me if I tell him hes doing a bad job. Never doing him a favor again.



Louis
 
Why don't you explain it to him ? Tell him "I want you to hear me out and take this in" and explain your frustration. Worth a shot?
 
erics00ls said:
Why don't you explain it to him ? Tell him "I want you to hear me out and take this in" and explain your frustration. Worth a shot?



I did it to him the first time I detailed his car, he obviously did listen. If you count all the times ive told him proper technique, he just nods his head and is like yea ok...
 
Well my firend, not everybody is as detail oriented when it comes to taking care of there car. I can polish/seal my wifes car and 2 days later she will have driven it thru every mud puddle and construction site she can find...I still love her and go fix it everytime she screws it up..It does get frustrating but ya know dad will not always be around, so honor him while you can.
 
TH0001 said:
that is a beautiful phrase my friend, I will use it from now on.



haha it makes sense lol, just a bunch of swirls all on top of each other in a giant cluster ****



Cleaning Fool said:
Well my firend, not everybody is as detail oriented when it comes to taking care of there car. I can polish/seal my wifes car and 2 days later she will have driven it thru every mud puddle and construction site she can find...I still love her and go fix it everytime she screws it up..It does get frustrating but ya know dad will not always be around, so honor him while you can.



i understand, but do you get attitude back? Hes getting angry that im trying to help him out
 
My Dad is the opposite. His '04 Accord is about 95% swirl/defect free and I have never deep polished it. I got him some ONR, Quikshine, OCW, MF towels, etc so he'd have a way to take care of his and my Mom's car with minimal effort.
 
Did you take the time to actually explain to your dad what "proper car care" is and walk him through the processes ? It takes time to develop the techniques, but two bucket washing is pretty simple to learn, but even my wife did not believe me about it's benefits till I took her out and showed her in person.



Sorry to hear.
 
Wow man, that's too bad. I've detailed both my parent's cars before, and they both try to keep it up. My mother not so much, but she knows the difference between a shiny black Bimmer and a swirly dull one, and prefers the former. Dad is there to at least properly wash the thing, and with good coats of good product it helps it stay shiny with decent washing at least.
 
Lefteris. said:
i understand, but do you get attitude back? Hes getting angry that im trying to help him out



He is still your father though, attitude or not. I don't know how you were when you grew up but I can imagine if you were anything like me and my brothers were, you have probably given him attitude over the years, did he give up on you?



Might sound like an over-simplification but it really isn't, it should be that simple...
 
Start charging from now on :xyxthumbs...Just kidding. Anyways, my favorite is when I spend about 8 hours fixing up my wife car only to have her say it looks exactly the same as it did before :grrr
 
I was detailing a car, and told the guy I could do a little extra at no charge. Ill be damned he didnt call and say he had a guilty concience.
 
slckrsx said:
Start charging from now on :xyxthumbs...Just kidding. Anyways, my favorite is when I spend about 8 hours fixing up my wife car only to have her say it looks exactly the same as it did before :grrr



Are you in the garage detailing or drinking bear! LOL
 
Next time make your dad do the detail and you teach him. Just tell him you want to spend some quality time with him. If he does it he will learn the lesson.
 
Hey Louis don't fret, some people just don't get it. I am 52 and somewhat set in my ways. When I found this site and a couple others it changed how I care for my cars. I always thought I had good looking cars and now I have taken it to a new level. People do notice, like my neighbor who asked me how to remove bird poop etchings from her mid-life crisis VW Bug flame red convertible.



Your Dad may never change his ways and don't feel bad about that. He still is your Dad. I wash and wax my kids and wife's car and then I see them sitting on it or putting things on the paint and I cringe but I will never do a full correction for them. As far as feeling screwed by doing him a favor, until you have your own family you will never realize the many "favors" he has done for you. My advise to you is to just love the guy and be glad that you have the ability to do what you do. Suck it up dude! If this sounds like a DAD lecture, I guess it is. I am both a Dad and a Grandpa.
 
I understand completely. I detailed my moms car extremely well inside and out, and while she does take care of the inside very well, she isnt so nice to the exterior. I have explained over and over what is good and bad. I went to my parents a few days after I had initially detailing her camry and she was wiping the car down with an "absorber" after I had bought her one of the vroom drying mfs. Come to find out, she thought the car was clean enough to just hose off and dry using the absorber. About a week later I went out there and her car is soaking wet with the tightest beads due to the collinite I had applied. I ask her if she is going to dry it off and she says no, it was dusty so she thought she would just spray it off. The water is so hard at my parents so it definately left some nasty waterspots and etching. I have explained over and over so no more detailing her car any longer.
 
instead of getting mad at the old dog, why dont you not only explain it to him what hes doing but get him involved, show him how to properly take care of a car.. you can always use it as another bonding experience.
 
calm down. no need to get mad or upset just because your dad ruined all that hard work you put in. maybe your dad is just set in his ways, who knows? im sure hes gotten mad or upset at times with you with certain things in your life while raising you but he still does things for you because he loves and cares for you right? so thats all that should matter.
 
you're looking at this all wrong...



you're not detailing his car to get a perfect swirl free finish, you're doing his car because he's YOUR DAD ;)



Just remember - he's proud of your ability/skills and that should make you feel good. Be happy he asks you. Next time, change your strategy and just give him a shiny and protected car. Dont beat yourself up about it and put it into perspective - I wonder how many times, as a kid, you undid all his hard work on something.



I do my dad's new car, and have detailed it several times since e bought it in May. He knows all the stuff about 2BM etc but last week I went to see him and there was a gritty sponge in a dirty bucket and chamois older than me :( I gave his car a once over with a paint cleaner and 845, and left it the cleanest & shiniest car in the town. I could see the swirls appearing in the silver already, so threw out his sponge, left him my new GS and a few little bottles of stuff to use, and quit worrying. He loves the car, he appreciates my work and I appreciate the chance to do something for him :hifive:
 
Lefteris. said:
CLIFFS: Fully detail fathers car 2 times, both time swirled within weeks beyond belief. Stubborn, and gets angry at me if I tell him hes doing a bad job. Never doing him a favor again.



Louis



I thought that I was the only one with this issue!



My solution has been to keep an OTC cleaner/wax on hand for cars belonging to family and friends who really don't know or appreciate the difference. A two hour wash and wax makes them very happy and keeps my frustration level down.



With slightly more effort, I can get a semi-decent result from Meguiar's Deep Crystal 3 step... not investing a lot of time or money and sending a satisfied friend down the road.



Sometimes, if the car owner will allow me to have the car long enough (this is the biggest problem for me) I will do a full bore treatment, just so I can test some new product.



The only time that I use my top-drawer stuff is for a paying customer or as a favor to someone who will truly appreciate the difference. Even then, I sometimes get disappointed. I did a beautiful black Infinity for a friend... an all-day freebie because he's a good guy and I love the car. Just saw the car two months post-detail... hadn't been washed in all that time. Go figure. :nixweiss
 
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