I give up trying to be nice...

Everyone has different hobbies/obsessions. Your dad obviously isn't insane about car care like most of us here, just as you probably aren't as passionate as he is about certain things.



I wouldn't stop detailing for him, but I would stop spending hours to get it to your standards. Use a nice cleaner wax, get it clean, and let it go. It'll be ok!
 
I've been lucky I guess...my late parents and now my wife (and those other rare people I do cars for) all listened, learned, and sinned no more.



But some people aren't like that and you can't always change them.



And yeah, it could well be that good-enough-for-him is very different from your standards. No point in imposing your standards on his car.



If he *does* want it relatively marring-free, you might point out to him that the clear is only so-thick and you can't keep correcting it over and over; he either has to quit abusing it or live with it getting messed up. Well, he could just trade the car in and do it all over on a new one...



If he does *not* care about the marring, then I wouldn't care either.
 
Dude...its you're dad. just smile, turn the other cheek and next time he asks you to detail his car. use something to hide the swirls instead. you can't teach you're dad anything new because he's thinking he taught you everything you know. hes you're dad he's propably thinking who knows better him or me. dad will always win. gl
 
I wasn't going to say anything, but given the comments above, I decided I'd jump in, too.



We all need to learn one important truth: gifts are only gifts if they are freely given, without strings attached, without conditions.



When you detail your Dad's car, you are giving him a gift--or least, that should be your intention. You are not entering into a contract with your Dad--"I will detail your car if and only if you take care of it properly." You detail it because you want to give him something that represents your love for him.



I understand your frustration. The simple fact is, as others have noted, most people do not care about having a swirl-free car. They simply want a clean and shiny car. So spend two hours (not twelve) and give your Dad a clean and shiny car. Use a one-step cleaner wax. He'll love it. He'll love it because his car looks good, and he'll love it because you freely did this FOR HIM. And you will have avoided all the frustration you have so vividly described. Focus on what's important.



Dad's aren't with us forever. I lost mine two years ago. He and I had a difficult relationship, but I miss him more than I can say.



Al
 
Accumulator said:
If he does *not* care about the marring, then I wouldn't care either.
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I cringe every time I see my brother's black pickup truck. I've tried explaining marring, proper washing technique and everything and not a single thing has changed. It's quite possibly the worst black vehicle I have ever seen (even considering some of the hack jobs corrected on Autopia).
 
I think I would have to draw him a picture of the situation - metal, primer, base and clear - then show how the clear will be gone if this cycle of f..k it and fix it isn't broken. It wouldn't hurt to get an estimate from a bodyshop on what a new paint job would cost either. Now - say Dad, love ya but you're killing your car, either do it right or start saying money for the repaint. If he gives you attitude then smile and say ok, fine, you're the boss and go have a beer.
 
Just let it go. If he asks for your services again, hit it with an AIO, like megs #66, it will get rid of some of the swirls, mask some of the others and its quick. Bringing a car up to autopian standards for someone that doesn't understand it a waste of your time.
 
Thats just like my gf who asks for me to clean her cars interior only to ALWAYS leave the windows down. I came home from work Friday, pouring rain, WINDOWS DOWN?!?! COME ON!!



I ask her to roll them up and she says "It doesn't matter, its gonna get dirty anyway"



I almost cut a ho.
 
My parents do the same thing. They take their cars to the carwash instead of even ASKING me to wash them. We've got pretty tight water restrictions and a tattletale of a neighbor, so I guess they think the car wash is the only way. My dad usually tells me, "it doesnt have to be perfect, you dont need to spend so much time on it." It just drives me nuts not to really go at it. I think from here on out, I may just AIO and wax their cars.
 
This is exactly why I don't detail other people's cars by myself. I let them know that if they want to put in the effort, then I'm happy to help them, and I'll show/tell them everything that I know. I'll probably help 2-3 per year bring a 'dead' car back to life.



I've found that if they're willing to put in the work, then they appreciate just what kind of effort is required, and they'll be much more careful about maintaining the finish going forward. If they just want someone to make it look nice, then they've probably just got a big date, etc., that they want the car to look good for - and after that, it's back to 'normal'.



I really don't mind killing a Saturday working on a friend's car, but like the OP, I don't want to invest my sweat and then see it unappreciated days later. Getting them to buy in with some of their own sweat seems to weed out the moochers from those who really want help and want to learn.
 
John Henry and Vakky have the right idea. AIO his car next time and he'll appreciate it just as much as a fullscale detail. And it won't annoy you when he swirls it while washing.

And count your blessings that you still have your father on this earth.
 
15951 said:
Everyone has different hobbies/obsessions. Your dad obviously isn't insane about car care like most of us here, just as you probably aren't as passionate as he is about certain things.



I wouldn't stop detailing for him, but I would stop spending hours to get it to your standards. Use a nice cleaner wax, get it clean, and let it go. It'll be ok!
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+1 ^^^^^^^:2thumbs:
 
My dad was exactly the same. I learned that he was the reason that they make products like NuFinish, LOL. My dad could be really stubborn at times and I usually had all I could do to hold my temper. Dad passed a few years ago and I'd give anything to be able to do his car for him now.



Your dad won't be around forever, enjoy him while you can.
 
jfelbab said:
My dad was exactly the same. I learned that he was the reason that they make products like NuFinish, LOL. My dad could be really stubborn at times and I usually had all I could do to hold my temper. Dad passed a few years ago and I'd give anything to be able to do his car for him now.



Your dad won't be around forever, enjoy him while you can.
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Thats how I feel about my Dad being gone, except he liked Simoniz!
 
dave40co said:
Thats how I feel about my Dad being gone, except he liked Simoniz!
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Haha, my dad talks about that stuff all the time. Cracks me up when he says that was what everyone used back in the day!



I agree with what some have said, youre dad wont be around forever so enjoy detailing his car. Dont polish it to perfection, just do a quick job and laugh when you see him putting more swirls in it. :xyxthumbs
 
BlueLibby04 said:
Haha, my dad talks about that stuff all the time. Cracks me up when he says that was what everyone used back in the day!



I agree with what some have said, youre dad wont be around forever so enjoy detailing his car. Dont polish it to perfection, just do a quick job and laugh when you see him putting more swirls in it. :xyxthumbs
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I HATED helping him Simoniz the cars, it took forever to remove. Thank goodness we have new technology that makes our job so much easier! Especially since I am the Dad that does it!
 
My dad did have his car occasionally detailed back in the late 50's, with Simoniz! (I think he paid a guy $5 or $10 to do the exterior back then). My dad died in 1999 (at age 81), but he loved the way my cars looked in his final years.



I occasionally detailed his Cadillac before he died, but he would ruin the surface by then washing it only with water and drying it with a bath towel. And....I swear this is true....he rubbed a film on MOTOR OIL on the dash to keep the Florida sun from "cracking the leather."



His dash never cracked, but it sure smelled funny and sure was shiny.



Mike
 
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