summer job / gf hates it :(

joyriide1113

joyriide1113

There is no cure!
i dont know how much off-topic this thread can be but here goes.

i start college this coming fall and im really excied about it. a little bit more and i say goodbye to highschool.

well last night at the gym i was training with my partner who is head of security at crobar of south beach. hes been working there for a while now and i shared to him how much i like the idea of having a part-time at a club. mind u im not a partier, i dont drink, smoke, or have a real wild side when it comes to extracurricular activities. he said he would speak with his boss and see how it goes, mentioning how he thinks im a shoe in for the job (215lbs lean).

i mentioned this to my girlfriend last ngiht and she went crazy. me and my gf have been together for a little over 2 years now and although we;'re young we care for each other greatly. on 2 seperate occassions i played my gf and got caught. we got back after a short break up and been great since. since, i found a new respect for having a gf and someone who cares about me and although im very young, have very strong feelings for her. \

i spoke with my partner tonight and he told me that his boss confirmed the position, even without meeting me. i got soo excited and anxious for trying something new. i told my gf right when i got the news and she just clicked the phone on me. we havent spoken since and she isnt picking up my calls. i know i wont lose her over this, althouhg im not sure of her decisions, but i dont want to HURT her. she emans a lot to me and to see her hurt really takes a lot of will, strength, and EGO out of me. i still wanna do this job sooo bad, its not the best job, but its probably one of the funnest jobs i can get right now, considering im very calm when it comes to nightlife.

i know u guys cant make any decisions for me and it has to come from me, because only i can choose, but i would really like to hear wha i lot of the members have to say and opinion on this as to wha i should do, both young and older.
 
Talk it over with the gf. See what she thinks of it and why she thinks that way. You shoudl be able to work it out calmly and maturely. You both can share what your veiws are and why and then come to a desicion hopefully.. I make it sound easy but i have trouble with things like that with my gf as well. thats relationships though. there will always be little bumbs in the road. YOu just gotta forge ahead together!

Greg
 
Personally, I think she should lighten up a bit, if she cant handle you working at a club as a job how is she going to handle your going out with new friends in college next year? I mean you have gotten caught cheating on her so I can see where her suspicions have arisen from, but still. Look at it this way, you are only 18 and can only have fun for so long, trust me you'll even learn to miss pre-college days. You have to sit her down and explain that it is a job, you cant really drink and screw around when working, to a certain extent later in the night you may be able to have some fun but for the most part you are actually WORKING. Or you can always pull the "if you dont trust me . . ." stuff.
Not to rub it in or anything man but so many of my friends have this problem it is hilarious. One of my buddies just broke up with his girlfriend of about two years since she was giving him a hard time about going to NYC for a friends 21st in a stretch H2 this friday (its free, dont ask). Mutual trust both ways makes for less agruements and a much better time. I love being able to do whatever and my girl is always like "okay, have fun" and "if you guys get too bad to drive call me, I'll pick everyone up".
IMO, take the job and have some fun. You'll need some practice for next year, trust me. I did bounce at a local club for about 18 months when I was a soph/junior in college and it was a good time, alot of nonsence/fights/drunken episodes, but fun nonetheless because of the guys I worked with. More importantly I met alot of people and that was actually more rewarding than the money from the job. The more people you get to know the better, I got alot of connections through people I know from various jobs and it paid off more than you can imagine.
You need to explain all of the positive implications that this can have for you and be serious about it.
 
I think the fact that you already tried to "play" her and got caught twice really effects the relationship. She's going to be constantly thinking if your trying to do it again, and the opportunity is right in front of you. If it were me and you really cared about the girl then I wouldn't take the job. I think working that job and your history with her is bound for some rought times. I'm not accussing you of potentially hooking up with girls there in the future, but the idea would always be in your GF's mind. Can I ask why would you want to work at a night club if your not into the club scene? I know a couple of my body building, health conscience friends work at gyms as personal trainers and enjoy the work. This is just my opinion, I really haven't had a GF that long to the point where you are, but I know finding a really cool, trustworthy girl is hard to find these days and I wouldn't want you to jeopardize something good you got going now.
 
wanna get into it because ive never really been around it. i wanna be a spectator in a way and see what its like. the pay is 190 bucks a night and thats not including any tips. the whole job in general sounds like a new experience, something i never been around.

the thouhgt of being 18 and not enjoying it to the fullest really bugs me, but the idea of not having my gf really puts me at odds with everything.
 
Tough decision buddy. I doubt she will break up with you for good over this, I mean the opportunities are there and the pay is great (almost twice what I made for 5.5 hours). Not to be negative but if she can not handle this job there is no way she'll be able to handle your freedom once college starts. And what are you doing calling her? Get your as* over there now and have a serious talk with her about it. Explain the situation from your point of view. Back it up with how it can be good for both of you, i.e. re-restablishing trust, learning to cope with new surroundings/freedoms, potential for future development in your career, etc. Good luck.
 
Well get going and good luck, I hope everything works out for ya. I am actually off to the girl's house to help her with some Organic Chem for her final tomorrow morning. Lets us know how it turns out.
 
Went to her house last night. pulled up around 11:45pm. she came out. she spoke, and spoke, and screamed, and spoke a little bit more. 12:30am and she was still talking without me saying one word. all in all she was telling me about how unfair it was to her and how she wouldnt do that to me. i insisted on telling her its just a job and a real interest to me and that i have no other intentions other than just working there. she calmed down after a bit and pretty much left it at, if i do the job, she'll go visit her mom in cape coral for the rest of the summer while im working, meaning we wont see each other until we start school in the fall (we're headng to the same college). now i dont know how much damage this little seperation we get can have on us, but my decision is made and im gonan take the job. 190 bucks a night, four ngihts a week for my summer stay is great. id have plenty of pocket cash
and then some. i think im making the right decision and although i hope me and my gf dont end up splitting up after this summer, whatever comes my way can come.

MS22 thanks a lot for u're little help there. i wasnt neccesarily expecting to get flamed over this but i was expecting some harsh comments telling me im being a wuss. the fact of the matter is that over the last two years ive only dated one girl. with the exceptions of my slip ups. some people get married and swear by it after only 6 months, i dont on the other hand. but i do have strong feeligns for her. girls are one of those things that can either make or break a man. hopefully once im done becoming a MAN and maturing into a successful person i will have made the right decisions in not only my relationships, but in my life.

thanks a lot
 
Joy the night life can consume you be very careful. My party days are behind me (most of the time) and Washington Ave. was my hangout for months. The women that show up at South beach can be very enticing trust me :D. Especially now that the snow birds are flocking in by the bus loads. A buddy of mine worked at club Space a while ago so expect close to if not more than $300 a night easy. What I'm getting at is that's very easy for a man to "slip up" at South beach night clubs, but it is not worth losing the unconditional love a women is giving you MAN up and stay true if you truly love her. Good luck
 
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