Ray in Kingwood
New member
Ok So I have never been to Starbucks...So what. So...We'll give her a try...So off the street up kingwood drive I go..
Hmmmmm maybe I am just a dumn of country boy....But I just don't get it....
If I said to ya'll, "I got mahself a great idea for a business. I'll open a whole
new type of coffee shop. Instead of charging 60 cents for coffee I'm gonna charge
$2.50, $3.50, $4.50, and $5.50.
Not only that, I'll have no tables, no chairs,
no water, no free refills, no waiters, no busboys, serve it in cardboard cups,
and have folks clean it up their own crap after they're finished."
Would ya'll say, "That's the greatest idea for a business I ever heard!
We can open a chain of these all over the world!"
Nope, ya'll would put my Coonass butt right into a nuthouse.
And guess what.........it's burnt coffee!
It's burnt coffee at Starbuck's, be honest about it.
If you get burnt coffee in a coffee shop, you'd call Da Law.... Slap the waitress, kiss off your tip babe. BTW Waffle house had coffee that puts Starbucks to shame. 60 cents a cup. You can get as many refills as you want....after a while, they will even bring you a bucket to save trips to the Mens room.....
You say, "It's the bottom of the pot. I don't drink from the bottom of the pot. But when it's burnt at Starbuck's, they say, "Oh, it's a special roast.
It's a special bean from Argentina...."
Special bean my ass! ...........
I know burnt!
You want coffee in a coffee shop, that's 60 cents.
But at Starbuck's, if it's Cafe Latte: $3.50. Cafe Creamier: $4.50.
Caffe Suisse: $9.50. For each French word, another $4.00. Why does a little
cream in coffee make it worth $3.50?
Go into any coffee shop; they'll give ya all the cream you want until you're blue in the face. 40 million people are walking around in coffee shops with pitchers of cream: "Here's all the cream you want!"
And it's still 60 cents. Ya wanna know why?
Because it's called "coffee."
You want cinnamon in your coffee?
Ask for cinnamon in a coffee shop; they'l give you all the cinnamon you want.
Do they ask you for more money because it's
cinnamon?
It's the same price for cinnamon in your coffee as for coffee without
cinnamon - 60 cents, that's it.
Now in Louisiana you have choice of regular or chicory.
Decaf if for the fellers that are light in the loafers and in most parishes its against the law.
But back to the Cinammon stuff. Thats whats here in Kingwood..
But not in Starbucks.
Over there, it's Cinnamonnier - $9.50.
You want a refill in a regular coffee shop, they'll give you all the refills you want until you drop dead.
You can come in when you're 27 and keep drinking coffee until you're 98.
And they'll start beggin' ya
"Here, Ya want more coffee?"
Do you know that you can't get a refill at Starbucks?
Jesch a refill is a $1.50, two refills, $4.50. Three refills, $19.50. So, for four cups of coffee - $35.00.
And there're no chairs in those Starbucks. Instead, they got these high
stools. Ya'll ever see these stools? Ya'll haven't been on a chair that high since you were two.
Seventy-three year old Kingwood yuppies are climbing and climbing to get to the top of the chair.
Some started yesterday and were still there this mornin' And when they get to the top, they can't even drink the coffee because there's 12 people around one little table, and everybody's sayin'
"Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me... "
Jeeesch all this polite sweetness was giving me cavities. Get the hell out of the way you old buzzard I need to stir some sugar before they charge me...
The rest of the poor ol Yuppies.......jeeesch they can't get off the damn chair.
The day before Kingwood yuppies were askin me "Mister, could you get me off this?"
Do any of ya'll remember what a cafeteria was?
In poor neighborhoods all over folks went to a cafeteria because there were no waiters and no service.
And so poor folks (I are one) could save money on a tip.
Cafeterias didn't have regular tables or chairs either.
They gave coffee to you in a cardboard cup.
..........So because of that you paid less for the coffee.
You got less, so you paid less.
It's all the same at Starbucks - no chairs, no service, a cardboard cup for
your coffee - except in Starbucks, the less you get, the more it costs. By the time they give you nothin', it's worth four times as much!
So ya'll think I'm exaggeratin'?
Did you ever try to buy a cookie in Starbuck's?
Buy a cookie in a regular coffee shop. You can tear down a building with that cookie.
And the whole cookie is 60 cents.
At Starbuck's, you're going to have to hire a detective to find that cookie, and it's $9.50. And you can't put butter on it because they want extra. (Remember Butter is heart healthy. It lubes ya up)
Do you know that if you buy a bagel, you pay extra for cream cheese in Starbuck's?
Cream cheese, another 60 Cents.
A knife to put it on, 32 cents. If it reaches the bagel, 48 cents. That bagel costs you $3.12. And they don't give you the butter or the cream cheese. They don't give it to you. They tell you where it is. "Oh, you want butter? It's over there. Cream cheese? Over here. Carry your fat ass over ther and git it if you want it..That will be .75cents for tellin' you where it is...Sugar? Sugar is here."
Now you become your own waiter.
You walk around with a tray.
"I'll take the
cookie. Where's the butter? The butter's here. Here's the cream cheese? The cream cheese is there." You walked around for an hour and a half selectin' stuff,
.........and then the guy at the cash register has a glass in front of him that says
"Tips."
Its a good thing that lil' turd was watchin' me or I woulda put it in my pocket...
Jeeesch!!!
You're waiting on tables for an hour, and you owe him money?
Then there's a sign that says please clean it up when you're finished.
They don't give you a waiter or a busboy.
Now you've become the janitor.
Now you are 'sposed to start cleanin' up the place. There were some Kingwood Yupiies who fell off the chairs that were walkin' around cleanin' up Starbuck's.
"Oh, he's got dirt too? Wait, I'll clean this up." They clean up
the place for an hour and a half.
Starbuck's can only get away with it
because they have French titles for everything.
Well I guess I am partially French. Or more accurately Coonass.
Coffee should be 60 cents a cup. With or without chickory.
Refills should come till you pee once a minute.
FREE
Starbucks can kiss it where the sun don't shine.
I'm not goin' back.
I must be gettin old and grouchy.
I am definitly not "with it"
Tommorow.......
Its Waffle house. Coffee and cream till I mooooo. 60 cents.
I think I'll even leave the gal a 2 buck tip.
:cheers::surrender:help::violin::rockon:wow:
Hmmmmm maybe I am just a dumn of country boy....But I just don't get it....
If I said to ya'll, "I got mahself a great idea for a business. I'll open a whole
new type of coffee shop. Instead of charging 60 cents for coffee I'm gonna charge
$2.50, $3.50, $4.50, and $5.50.
Not only that, I'll have no tables, no chairs,
no water, no free refills, no waiters, no busboys, serve it in cardboard cups,
and have folks clean it up their own crap after they're finished."
Would ya'll say, "That's the greatest idea for a business I ever heard!
We can open a chain of these all over the world!"
Nope, ya'll would put my Coonass butt right into a nuthouse.
And guess what.........it's burnt coffee!
It's burnt coffee at Starbuck's, be honest about it.
If you get burnt coffee in a coffee shop, you'd call Da Law.... Slap the waitress, kiss off your tip babe. BTW Waffle house had coffee that puts Starbucks to shame. 60 cents a cup. You can get as many refills as you want....after a while, they will even bring you a bucket to save trips to the Mens room.....
You say, "It's the bottom of the pot. I don't drink from the bottom of the pot. But when it's burnt at Starbuck's, they say, "Oh, it's a special roast.
It's a special bean from Argentina...."
Special bean my ass! ...........
I know burnt!
You want coffee in a coffee shop, that's 60 cents.
But at Starbuck's, if it's Cafe Latte: $3.50. Cafe Creamier: $4.50.
Caffe Suisse: $9.50. For each French word, another $4.00. Why does a little
cream in coffee make it worth $3.50?
Go into any coffee shop; they'll give ya all the cream you want until you're blue in the face. 40 million people are walking around in coffee shops with pitchers of cream: "Here's all the cream you want!"
And it's still 60 cents. Ya wanna know why?
Because it's called "coffee."
You want cinnamon in your coffee?
Ask for cinnamon in a coffee shop; they'l give you all the cinnamon you want.
Do they ask you for more money because it's
cinnamon?
It's the same price for cinnamon in your coffee as for coffee without
cinnamon - 60 cents, that's it.
Now in Louisiana you have choice of regular or chicory.
Decaf if for the fellers that are light in the loafers and in most parishes its against the law.
But back to the Cinammon stuff. Thats whats here in Kingwood..
But not in Starbucks.
Over there, it's Cinnamonnier - $9.50.
You want a refill in a regular coffee shop, they'll give you all the refills you want until you drop dead.
You can come in when you're 27 and keep drinking coffee until you're 98.
And they'll start beggin' ya
"Here, Ya want more coffee?"
Do you know that you can't get a refill at Starbucks?
Jesch a refill is a $1.50, two refills, $4.50. Three refills, $19.50. So, for four cups of coffee - $35.00.
And there're no chairs in those Starbucks. Instead, they got these high
stools. Ya'll ever see these stools? Ya'll haven't been on a chair that high since you were two.
Seventy-three year old Kingwood yuppies are climbing and climbing to get to the top of the chair.
Some started yesterday and were still there this mornin' And when they get to the top, they can't even drink the coffee because there's 12 people around one little table, and everybody's sayin'
"Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me... "
Jeeesch all this polite sweetness was giving me cavities. Get the hell out of the way you old buzzard I need to stir some sugar before they charge me...
The rest of the poor ol Yuppies.......jeeesch they can't get off the damn chair.
The day before Kingwood yuppies were askin me "Mister, could you get me off this?"
Do any of ya'll remember what a cafeteria was?
In poor neighborhoods all over folks went to a cafeteria because there were no waiters and no service.
And so poor folks (I are one) could save money on a tip.
Cafeterias didn't have regular tables or chairs either.
They gave coffee to you in a cardboard cup.
..........So because of that you paid less for the coffee.
You got less, so you paid less.
It's all the same at Starbucks - no chairs, no service, a cardboard cup for
your coffee - except in Starbucks, the less you get, the more it costs. By the time they give you nothin', it's worth four times as much!
So ya'll think I'm exaggeratin'?
Did you ever try to buy a cookie in Starbuck's?
Buy a cookie in a regular coffee shop. You can tear down a building with that cookie.
And the whole cookie is 60 cents.
At Starbuck's, you're going to have to hire a detective to find that cookie, and it's $9.50. And you can't put butter on it because they want extra. (Remember Butter is heart healthy. It lubes ya up)
Do you know that if you buy a bagel, you pay extra for cream cheese in Starbuck's?
Cream cheese, another 60 Cents.
A knife to put it on, 32 cents. If it reaches the bagel, 48 cents. That bagel costs you $3.12. And they don't give you the butter or the cream cheese. They don't give it to you. They tell you where it is. "Oh, you want butter? It's over there. Cream cheese? Over here. Carry your fat ass over ther and git it if you want it..That will be .75cents for tellin' you where it is...Sugar? Sugar is here."
Now you become your own waiter.
You walk around with a tray.
"I'll take the
cookie. Where's the butter? The butter's here. Here's the cream cheese? The cream cheese is there." You walked around for an hour and a half selectin' stuff,
.........and then the guy at the cash register has a glass in front of him that says
"Tips."
Its a good thing that lil' turd was watchin' me or I woulda put it in my pocket...
Jeeesch!!!
You're waiting on tables for an hour, and you owe him money?
Then there's a sign that says please clean it up when you're finished.
They don't give you a waiter or a busboy.
Now you've become the janitor.
Now you are 'sposed to start cleanin' up the place. There were some Kingwood Yupiies who fell off the chairs that were walkin' around cleanin' up Starbuck's.
"Oh, he's got dirt too? Wait, I'll clean this up." They clean up
the place for an hour and a half.
Starbuck's can only get away with it
because they have French titles for everything.
Well I guess I am partially French. Or more accurately Coonass.
Coffee should be 60 cents a cup. With or without chickory.
Refills should come till you pee once a minute.
FREE
Starbucks can kiss it where the sun don't shine.
I'm not goin' back.
I must be gettin old and grouchy.
I am definitly not "with it"
Tommorow.......
Its Waffle house. Coffee and cream till I mooooo. 60 cents.
I think I'll even leave the gal a 2 buck tip.
:cheers::surrender:help::violin::rockon:wow:
assout:
