jayjacque
You WILL like my work!
Just wondering anybody have a good clean jokes they want to share? I got a couple I could start out with:
A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away what she thought were W's. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.
“I’m here for the paint job,� she said.
“Alright,� said the man. “Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house.�
The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.
After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, “I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn’t a porsche out back. It’s a new BMW.
And here's another one:
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money
with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside.
“Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my
coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.�
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a
limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I had only put
$20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.�
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,� said the doctor, “I only put
$10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which
cost $20,000.�
The lawyer was aghast. “I’m ashamed of both of you,� he exclaimed. “I want it
known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for
the full $30,000.�
A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away what she thought were W's. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.
“I’m here for the paint job,� she said.
“Alright,� said the man. “Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house.�
The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.
After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, “I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn’t a porsche out back. It’s a new BMW.
And here's another one:
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money
with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside.
“Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my
coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.�
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a
limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I had only put
$20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.�
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,� said the doctor, “I only put
$10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which
cost $20,000.�
The lawyer was aghast. “I’m ashamed of both of you,� he exclaimed. “I want it
known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for
the full $30,000.�