Sounds like you're used to the way Meguiar's uses words like "polish" and "cleaner"
Most of the rest of the world considers polish to imply abrasion/the presence of abrasives. What Meguiar's calls "pure polishes", most others would call "glazes". Yeah, the way different people use the same words to mean different things can make for a lot of confusion.
Oh, before I forget to comment on it, I can't imagine "too much wax caus[ing] swirlmarks", marring (including swirl marks) comes from the finish getting scratched and wax shouldn't do that no matter how much you put on
Back to the subject of polish...
Whether a "pure polish"-type of polish (i.e. a nonabrasive one) will compromise any existing wax will depend on how much solvent-action it does. Generally such products sit on top of existing wax and don't do much harm. No problem with applying too much/too often as after a point you just wipe off any excess anyhow.
Polishes that do contain abrasives will cut through existing product just as they'll cut paint.
A cleaner wax will remove anything it's used on, how *well*/thoroughly it removes it will depend on the cleanerwax itself (some are more potent than others) and how aggressively it's applied. Most cleaner waxes, including the Meguiar's consumer product (IIRC it's called "A12") and Color-X, contain some very mild abrasives in addition to chemical cleaners.
Oh, and you don't really "return oils to paint" with today's automotive paint. That was possible back in the days of old-school single stage (especially with lacquers) but it just doesn't apply today. Today's paints are basically impermeable materials; products might get into the pores of the paint, and also into any micro-fissures, but then the product just sits there on top of the paint, it doesn't get absorbed into it the way a moisturizer gets absorbed into skin.
Not sure if the above was all that helpful, hope you got something out of it.
