Offers to help.

[Paul Sparks]

Don't really know the pc way to sat this but I'll try. I frequent various forums and remain active with social media in the detailing community. Over the last few years I have tried to share and pay back to the community for what I have obtained through the use of these venues. A good example of this is a few of the get togethers I have attended. These have been great opportunities to share products,techniques and ideas. Now the part I don't understand and would like someone to probably shine some light on are those that you reach out to help and are just ignored. Maybe it's me or just human nature. A example of what I'm talking about. Local member ask about a certain product on a forum and has questions about buying it or not. I offer to let said member try a sample before pulling the trigger. No answer. Or somebody asking for help and after making a offer to assist and being told I'll get right back with ya.Again no follow up answer. And multiple members going to a event and offering transportation but receiving no answer what so ever. So is this just the way things are nowadays and I should get used to it or ...? ?

Am I living in the past when a man's hand shake and his word meant something ? Are people that afraid of help being offered with nothing expected in return ? Are those day long gone ? Or do I need to pull up my big boy pants and move on ? LOL.

 

[Dan]

People just don't like saying "No thanks" anymore. Its easier to just flake out than confront I guess. I'm guilty of it on occasion as well. Lots of people just get put out when then offer something and someone tells them no.

 

[Accumulator]

My take:



- yeah, people are less considerate these days

- OTOH, it can be easy to offer more assistance than somebody really wants and they might feel awkward about it

- some of us take PERSEC so seriously that meeting "internet acquaintances" seems fraught with peril, and again, it can be awkward to say "thanks, but no thanks" so many might just fade away instead

- it's easy to take personal offense at something that wasn't intended personally

- getting back to both the previous point and my first one, it doesn't pay to get too, uhm...invested in how other people behave except when it actually threatens you/yours

 

[Perfections]

I'm with you, I offer to help/train fellow detailers that are in this business. "I'll call you" only I never hear from them. At least you tried!

 

[C. Charles Hahn]

All you can do is make an offer; if someone truly wants help they'll take it, if not then it's no skin off your nose.

 

[AndrewBigA]

I offer to let said member try a sample before pulling the trigger.

truth, call anytime if you wanna talk shop. if you would like me to return the favor let me know. i have enough to share a little. its nice knowing i have it if i need it but i dont use it too often. this has become my little "souvenir". the compound has dried up like a rock & the qtip inside has some mold growing on it lol.

 

[David Fermani]

Paul - You're a super helpful member and I appreciate all that you do! It's unfortunate that you're having this issue, but don't let it get you down. And don't give up faith helping people. Just realize that people are busy with things like day jobs, side projects, family & friends and this can deter them into following though as they might have intended.



Hopefully in the future we can put on a detailing get together!

 

[Paul Sparks]

truth, call anytime if you wanna talk shop. if you would like me to return the favor let me know. i have enough to share a little. its nice knowing i have it if i need it but i dont use it too often. this has become my little "souvenir". the compound has dried up like a rock & the qtip inside has some mold growing on it lol.

Dang Andrew I had forgot all about the m101. Glad you liked it. Never had a problem with you.The person I was thinking about was actually a member of another forum who lives locally. I guess I'm a little old fashioned and the world moves at a little different pace nowadays.

Thanks go out to all of those who replied and for their comments.

 

[Paul Sparks]

Paul - You're a super helpful member and I appreciate all that you do! It's unfortunate that you're having this issue, but don't let it get you down. And don't give up faith helping people. Just realize that people are busy with things like day jobs, side projects, family & friends and this can deter them into following though as they might have intended.



Hopefully in the future we can put on a detailing get together!

Thanks David. Sounds like a good idea.

 

[Richard Grasa]

I think a part of it is not many people expect someone like you (or any good person) to be willing to just help out anymore. I think maybe the way they are thinking is "well if he helps me out, then he is going to expect me to help him out when he needs something", or the usual "nothing comes for free". I say this because it's happened to me before, a friend (or even someone I never met) offers to help out with some product, or a ride somewhere, or whatever. They help you out, don't ask for anything in return, but then a couple weeks later they need something and EXPECT you to stop what you are doing and go help them and when you're like "I can't" (because you really can't) you are suddenly the bad guy. Used to be you could receive a favor and it would just be a favor, not anymore, now you are indebted forever. This is why I am hesitant to accept unsolicited help or advice these days, because I am going to expect that person to want something in return even though they asked if they could help me, not the other way around. This all being said, I would not expect something in return for a favor, just that too many people do.

 

[Paul Sparks]

I understand exactly where you are coming from Rich. At my age it's taking a little time to catch on to the way a lot of younger people think (some not all). I have always tried to treat people the way that I would care to be treated. So I'll keep trying to pay it forward and let the chips fall where they may. When I leave this world I hope to be remembered for what I have done and not for what I have had. I do think that most of us are on the same page. :smokin:

 

[Dan]

People are just very suspicious of "free" these days. Maybe they are thinking you have ulterior motives. I wonder if you spelt it out, that you want nothing in return, if things changed.