Is it that hard to say "thank you"?

S

stilez

New member
A truly on-going pet peeve of mine, the simple gesture of "thank you" at the appropriate time is absent from many people's vocabulary.





Specifically, when I hold a door for someone. Ok, if its a very busy place and there are constant people in and out, the door is always being held regardless. However, I make it a point to hold a door extra long, a few seconds, if I see older folks or a female walking towards the door. Now, I do this out of pure respect and helpfulness. With the older folks, simply because many are notably weaker and for the females, out of old-fashioned habits. For instance, I get the car door for my girlfriend whenever we go out.





Anyways, this gesture of mine goes unnoticed by many; almost like the "deserve" it. Many times I will hold a door for someone with pretty much nobody else around and it will be just silence. 9 times out of 10, I will respond with a firm, "Your welcome", and let the door go.





Am I overreacting or should I start accepting that some people either don't care or just simply don't have manners?
 
GSRstilez said:
I will respond with a firm, "Your welcome", and let the door go.
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i do the same thing.



GSRstilez said:
Am I overreacting or should I start accepting that some people either don't care or just simply don't have manners?
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no, your not over-reacting. people these days need to get re-aquainted with their own manners.
 
:werd: I've experienced the same exact situation time and again.



Or, when you gesture people to give them the right away while driving, they don't acknowledge you.



Either they're too self absorbed, don't have manners or are innocently oblivious.
 
I think people's manners in general are on the decline. The sincere "Thank you" you get from the mother with 2 wild kids and 1 in the stroller make up for the rude ones I hold the doors for.



I was once in a gas station and saw a young kid actually throw a dollar at the guy behind the counter as he walked out with a soda. I was totally floored.
 
I usually just slam there head into the door a few times. LOL For real, I either say, "YOU'RE WELCOME" or worse depending on my mood. HAHA!
 
The "old" way of doing things is going fast. I live in the country where 5yrs ago, there were only 500 people within 10 miles of me. Now with all the new sub-divisions that we put in, there are "new" people around. And they dont seem to do things the way we do it. I will wave, say hi, hold the door at some of our stores, and I dont even get a thanks or "nod". Some people like you say, are just rude. And then some are rude even thought they dont mean to be. Like my gf, when she walks in my house she will never say hi to my parents, not b/c she is being mean, she wasnt brought up to say hi when she walks in the door. My parents talk to her, and she talks back 90mph, but she wont say things first. This is kinda along the same lines as you were talking about Sean.
 
I too am of the old school. I do the polite thing because of upbringing. That is what my parents taught me to do. In fact that is what my parents practiced.



Many years went by before I realized that I do this for all the reasons that you mentioned but... foremost, I do this because it is right. Once I got this thru my head it was easier to let the ungrateful go on about their business without comment.



Knowing that you are right, respectful, and polite in all things is satisfaction enough. Acknowledgement of those things is icing on the cake.
 
One of my pet peeves too, Sean. Guess that is what happens when MTV and Madonna are raising today's kids. Sad thing is, I see the same thing with adults.
 
Im only 20 but I have also been brought up saying thank you and please. I mean if I ask for anything off of anyone I ALWAYS say please and thank you.



If someone asks me for something and they dont say the "magic" word I just say whats the majic "word." lol.



I paritcularly dislike if I let someone out and they don't say thanks that really really annoys me.
 
I can relate so in the spirit of this time of year, I'd like to thank all who have contributed to our community and have made it the fun place that is.





[size=+2] Thanks Folks!![/size]
 
I'm hesitant to post this reply because I don't want to aggravate someone seeking to be helpful. And I can certainly understand the feeling of being jilted when your kind deed is not rewarded with words of appreciation.



However, I don't think you should sarcastically say "Your Welcome". Honestly, this seems rude to me.



Your deed is honorable, your reward is the knowledge that you took time to try to make someone else's day a little easier. It's a bonus if you get more.



Having said this, I try to make a point to always say "Thank You"
 
I hate that too! It seems that most of the people who dont say thanks to me are older women. I guess cause I'm a kid, I dont know. Pisses me off though and I do the same as you Sean, I say "Your welcome!" and they usually look at me like they are mad that I said that. lol Even a simple nod or smile would be nice, I understand some people might not like to talk a lot.
 
totally agreed!! I cant stand when people dont appreciate those random acts of kindness! aslo I come from a small town and I always say hi to poeple I pass, well i hate it when i say hello and someone just ignores me or mumbles it.





Greg
 
BigOleGoober said:
... I don't think you should sarcastically say "Your Welcome". Honestly, this seems rude to me.



Your deed is honorable, your reward is the knowledge that you took time to try to make someone else's day a little easier. It's a bonus if you get more.



Having said this, I try to make a point to always say "Thank You"
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CWCAD said:
... I do this for all the reasons that you mentioned but... foremost, I do this because it is right. Once I got this thru my head it was easier to let the ungrateful go on about their business without comment.
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Yeah, what they said :xyxthumbs



I do what I do because of *my* values, if others don't reciprocate I just shrug it off- they're not me and I'm not them. I don't want to feel like I'm obligating people to do something (like say "thanks"), I'm just being polite and maybe helping somebody out. So if saying "thanks" is too much for them, well, that's their problem. I'm not gonna go from polite (holding the door) to rude (saying something snarky) just because they don't know enough to acknowledge my good deed.



Oh, and one thing to consider with older women- these days many people like that are pretty paranoid about their personal safety, and for good reason. Acknowledging something related to a young person might make them nervous. A lot of bad guys get their foot in the door by being nice. Not a excuse for rudeness, just a thought...



I *will* say that I get irritated by all the "no problem!" responses. This phrase seems to have replaced thank you/you're welcome in many circles. Guess that's *my* pet peeve at present.
 
I'm a firm believer that a little kindness and respect goes a long way, so maybe even if the person you held the door open for doesn't say thank you, they might just hold it open for someone else tomorrow morning. Then again maybe I am niave. :)
 
Scottwax said:
One of my pet peeves too, Sean. Guess that is what happens when MTV and Madonna are raising today's kids. Sad thing is, I see the same thing with adults.
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Guess what? Madonna, in an interview, says she doesn't let her kids watch TV because there's too much trash out there. Well, duh! No thanks to her!



I learned how to say "I'm sorry", "Please", and "Thank you" early on thanks to my mom! :thx



Breeding is soooooo important.
 
Picus- That's a good way to look at it.



I remember back in the early '80s when somebody complimented me on the (big, aggressive) dog I was handling. Handling for the first time in an very crowded, unfamiliar area. I was feeling self-concious and nervous about working that dog in that situation and I didn't acknowledge the compliment. The guy then said something about me being a stuck-up jerk and I still remember it over 25 years later. Yeah, I learned a lesson, two actually: 1) I should've said "thank you"; I resolved to be better about that, and 2) the guy was a jerk. His compliment seemed all about *him*, if he really wanted to say something nice about the dog, well, he *did* say it and I appreciated it even if I didn't say anything. Why put me on the spot and then complain when I failed to perform the way he wanted? He didn't realize that I really had my hands full. That "nice dog" might've torn into him had I not been taking care of business properly.
 
:lol I hold doors open, but I don't really expect a thank you.



I mean, if my holding a door open is making somebody's day then that's really sad.





"Oh you know, Hurk, this 20 year old boy held a door open for me today!"

"Oh really, Susie, that's just swell!"
 
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