help my flier

D

drock

New member
this is what i have for my flier so far. Any suggestions would help espcially with the back part. should i include prices? this will be more of a summer/weekend gig.



****edit

pics has been taken down since i wasn't suppose to post them because of the contact info on there i will make the changes and place them back up
 
They look good to me , are these postcard size mailers ? Do you plan on mailing them ? No Phone number ? As for prices that's up to you , I would leave them out hoping that people truely interested in your service will contact you . Some people might disagree with this thinking .
 
I agree with Rollman, add a phone number as some people would prefer to talk and get an instant response rather than email. Also agree with leaving prices off.
 
Hi,



First, add a phone number. Better yet, get a phone number specific to your business and make sure it has voice mail.



Second, here are some suggestions about text formatting and syntax:



- Ensure that all text is in the present tense. For example, instead of "...will provide..." use "...provides...". Instead of "...will be treated...", use "...is treated...".



- The centered text on the second page looks good, but lose the dashes ("-") at the beginning. They are not necessary and not consistent.



- Add the phone number to the contact. I.e., "Please call use at ... or e-mail us at...".



- I very much like the raised "buttons" on the second page. VERY nice! But... The buttons on the first page are a bit clunky. Change the two buttons on the first page to be the same as the ones on the second page.



- On the first page, instead of "Each vehicle is treated..." consider "Your vehicle is treated...". (I'm not sure about this one.)



After you make your changes, reread each line, and then each phrase and then each word several times. Ask yourself, "Can I make this more concise? Can I leave out more words?" and "Are there better, more impactful words to use?". I find that, even after the eighth or tenth reading, I can make subtle changes that improve the content.



Other than that, it looks great!



Regards,



Dan.
 
What program did you use to create that, I like it! You know it is going to be really pricey to run copies of that or get cards made.



Are you including pricing?
 
thanks for all the tips and corrections. i guess thats what happens when i put a flier together in the middle of the night. rollman, yes they will be postcards size where i can pass out. Autonova, i used adobe photoshop to put toget the flier.
 
AutoNova said:
What program did you use to create that, I like it! You know it is going to be really pricey to run copies of that or get cards made.



Are you including pricing?
Click to expand...



Postcards can be made relatively inexpensively. I get postcards for promo events made at 5000 cards for $300. Local shop here. 1000 I think is $100. So 6 cents to 10 cents/card. Not too bad I think. If for every 100 cards you get one to bite. That $100 just made you $1000 (of course depends how much you charge) :bigups



Good job on the card. I'm working on one myself. good luck.
 
BookemDano said:
Hi,



First, add a phone number. Better yet, get a phone number specific to your business and make sure it has voice mail.



Second, here are some suggestions about text formatting and syntax:



- Ensure that all text is in the present tense. For example, instead of "...will provide..." use "...provides...". Instead of "...will be treated...", use "...is treated...".



- The centered text on the second page looks good, but lose the dashes ("-") at the beginning. They are not necessary and not consistent.



- Add the phone number to the contact. I.e., "Please call use at ... or e-mail us at...".



- I very much like the raised "buttons" on the second page. VERY nice! But... The buttons on the first page are a bit clunky. Change the two buttons on the first page to be the same as the ones on the second page.



- On the first page, instead of "Each vehicle is treated..." consider "Your vehicle is treated...". (I'm not sure about this one.)



After you make your changes, reread each line, and then each phrase and then each word several times. Ask yourself, "Can I make this more concise? Can I leave out more words?" and "Are there better, more impactful words to use?". I find that, even after the eighth or tenth reading, I can make subtle changes that improve the content.



Other than that, it looks great!



Regards,



Dan.
Click to expand...



Dan's a copywriter I bet. :) My gf (a professional writer) takes everything I write and makes the exact same suggestions. It is amazing what a difference a pro can make in the impact of a piece. Being in marketing myself, I thought I had a good handle on it - not even close! I would never do any print promotion now without having a professional go over it (and it's a free service for me now :woohoo: ). If you don't want to spend the $$ to hire a professional writer, trade out services or find a friend that's a pro-it can and will help immensly.
 
kompressornsc said:
Dan's a copywriter I bet. :) My gf (a professional writer) takes everything I write and makes the exact same suggestions. It is amazing what a difference a pro can make in the impact of a piece. Being in marketing myself, I thought I had a good handle on it - not even close! I would never do any print promotion now without having a professional go over it (and it's a free service for me now :woohoo: ). If you don't want to spend the $$ to hire a professional writer, trade out services or find a friend that's a pro-it can and will help immensly.
Click to expand...

Copywriter?!? Not even close! :shocked I'm a software developer. But, I've done a lot of writing and had a lot of help in my writing.



I think most of it is just another set of eyes from someone who is a bit anal retentive. (Anal Retentive! On this forum! Wow, never would've thought!) :D



Regards,



Dan.
 
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