Drug Addiction, need help

S

ScubaStevo

New member
Before you read this, don't reply if you have some smart *** comment about asking things over the web and ****. Please, I don't need to hear it.



Ok, as most of you all know, I'm young, 17 to be exact, and I've recently fallen victim to drug addiction. No, not myself, but someone very close to me suddenly turned to cocaine for an un-known reason.



We've been best friends for almost 95% of our lives, and have been dating/seeing each other for almost 2 years, on a casual basis. Recently though, we had gotten a lot closer and had upped our relationship just a weebit.



Now I had been working and on vacation over the summer, and had only seen her a couple of times. When we had gone out, she'd seem to act different/stranger every time. Recently, school started and I confronted her about rumors of her having trouble with a drug abuse problem; of which she had never had before. She changed friends, and no one had heard from her in nearly 2 weeks. She wouldn't answer my calls, messages, visits to her home, or any other means of me contacting her. When I confronted her, she denied anything of the sort. (drugs)



At school today, I went to pick her up, she's not home. Drive to school, and am startled to see her smoking a joint. (She's has never done anything of the sort).

I come up, rather pissed as you can all imagin, and low and behold, a guy comes out of no-where, and pulls a knife on me! Like ***! Of course I backed away, as I'm not about to get stabbed over some silly reason.



Later get a call on my cell, with her crying like crazy, and she wants to see me to explain things. So of course I drive like a mad man to go see her and when I get there, she no longer wants to even see me.



Now, all over a sudden, she's hanging out with the "wrong crowd", and I don't know what to do.





*Now, has anyone had any experience in the matter? What could I do? Who should I contact? My parents aren't up to the challange of handling ANOUTHER addict in the family. (My brother causes my family enough grief as it is).



Anything that might work to get her to listen to me, or at least sit down and tell me what made her change so drastically, in such a short amount of time?



As you can probably see, I am losst as to what I can do, but I know for a fact that I won't abandon her, and let her fall to the level my brother is in.



Please, leave any suggestions, or comments on what I could do to help. And PLEASE, don't leave any smart *** comments about how I'm posting this on the internet, asking for help. 2000 heads are better than 1, well many, as my friends and I are trying to think of ways to try and counter act whats going on.



Thank you,



Steven
 
sorry to hear this about your friend. First off they Will not Quit unless they are ready basically Given up. That you will have to understand. Accept if you can,(they need to hit rock bottom before they can realize whats happening. Now if the person is looking for help and wants to change. You will have a hard fight ahead of you all. It's a long hard process, no I don't know first hand but have read and helped others before.



If they are willing you put them in a room with a Tv and a playstation(example) and a bed and clear everything else out that can hurt them. withdrawl is a bad thing from what I understand.

they are to be locked in the room for as long as it takes 2 weeks - month, stay close to her keep her company feed her etc... and just be there for her with all her "good Friends" and do not let her give in to the habit while she is under your care.



If you can not find a place to keep her then there are places around hospitals etc.. that have wards etc... as long as they turn them selfs in the staff is usually willing to help and just make sure you let her know you will help her threw it, she will need a close friend.



Wish ya all the best. hope that helped a little.
 
I am sorry but, it is not as simple as locking her up somehwere for 2 weeks and she will be cured. My sister has had problems on and off with drugs for years. She has gotten away from it several times but, always seems to slide back. It is more than just the drugs, it is the people she is hanging around with. The drugs don't always come first and then the bad crowd, the bad crowd generally comes first and then the drugs. It could also be an emotional issue and she is using drugs to cope with it :nixweiss



If she is 17 like you Steve than her parents/family need to be involved. Let them know, this is something for her family to handle. I know it is hard but, there is little you can do but try and be there if she needs you.
 
I had talked with her parent's last night. We had come to the conclusion that I won't try and intervien right now, but they want to try and grasp hold of the situation right now. Then, once that is settled, I can "re-join" her.



I'm still planning on *attempting* to be her friend, and stand by her, but if she doesn't want it, theres not much I can do as far as that right now.
 
Is she really an addict, or has she just started to experiment with drugs?



Not that experimenting is better than being an addict, but it is easier to stop it before it starts.



There is little you can do other then letting her know that she can contact you whenever she needs you. I have had several friends get caught up, and I make it clear that I will always be there for them, but I am not willing to be the "friend" in terms of hanging out with them while they are doing drugs.



Make it clear you don't approve, make a direct link between you, and drugs, and show it as being a "one or the other" type of situation. It sounds like tough love, but if you still attempt to be their friend, they will think you are alright with it, and they will continue on the path of destruction.



Basically, make it clear that you are always there willing to lend a helping hand, or someone to talk to. But don't be a part of her social life until she cleans up.



But above all else, tell her parents, and apply pressure on them to take the necessary steps to clean up the mess.



Cocaine is Winnipeg’s new marijuana
 
You cant force people to help themselves. If she wants to do coke, she will do coke.



You are young, this can go 2 ways. Path 1 isnt a big deal, path 2 is.



Tell her parents, let her know you care about her, and will help her if she needs help.



Then do not pursue her friendship . You have to leave a light on for her, but you need to stop any relationship with her period.



Some smart guy i know came up with these 4 rules for life. It keeps you out of trouble, and if you get in trouble you know exactly what kind of trouble it is the second it happens.



1: Do not drink in excess

2: Do not be in a place where people drink in access

3: Do not associate with or go to a place where people use drugs, or sell them

4: Do not mess around with a male/female who is in a relationship/married.



You might experience things like this the older you get. I have seen it happen alot.



There is a certain strength you get, when you see someone refuse help, and you just stand there watching them drown in their own poison.



....but the first couple times all you want to do is help, make them like they used to be.
 
I was in the same situation as your friend when I was very young...about 13 I was involved with a lot of drugs, pot, pills, and so on...My parents did everything they could to straighten me out, but no punishment would work on me. It all came down to me wanting to turn my life around for my future. all and all my grades in school improved and now I’m in one for the best college’s in the world for studying architecture (my major), I cant even imagine where I would be if I was still using drugs! The best advice I can give you is to try to bring your friends future into focus for them...ask them do you really think you can be successful and happy in life when you’re a drug addict. Its a hard thing to do...but they have to want to turn their life around, to took me awhile to do it, and I have only recently dropped my last addiction (cigarettes) and life addiction free is just awesome! ...hope this helps and good luck
 
Unfortunately, they won't quit until they hit rock bottom. Asking for help is the hardest thing of all, because it acknowledges that you have a problem.



Alot of people will say, just be there as a friend, quite often, I believe you shouldn't be, because it re-enforces that they think what they are doing is ok. Whilst people are there, to pick up the pieces for them, they will continue.



All I can suggest, perhaps some councilling or a support person.



I really hope things work out for you and your friend.
 
tegboy said:
Unfortunately, they won't quit until they hit rock bottom...
Click to expand...



I don't want to be :argue but this just isn't always true. This is something I *know* about. Plenty of people decide they don't like the road they've taken and they turn themselves around just like 4830Deuce did. If people wait for her to crash and burn things will only get worse, perhaps needlessly. She needs for somebody to find out why she wants to do this (this sounds way beyond the, uhm, simple enjoyment of getting buzzed). Something is very wrong with her life and it's not just the drugs. She needs help now.



I hope ScubaStevo can be of some help to his friend, but IMO it's too much to ask of a 17 year old guy. This calls for a pro, somebody who knows what they're doing. But the knowledge that her friend hates what's happening to her and wants her to do better just might make all the difference. This one is on her parents- I hope they do the right thing and that they aren't part of the problem.



To me, the scariest part of this is the guy with the knife. Drugs + confused young girl + wacko guy with blade = you can guess. I hope the right people know about this guy.
 
I agree with Accumulator some people to need a little push...with my exprence and mistakes so early in my life I have tired to give this knowlage to my friends when I see them making some mistakes that I have made earlier in my life...Im lucky that I had the will to change my life around on my own but many people need someone else to help them with it, even though they might not want you to! :ca steve!
 
Side note: Deuce, are you going to Lawrence Tech? Just wondering, because thats the only Architecture school I know of in the Detroit area.



Anyways, hopefully somebody can get through to your friend Steve. If not, well, you can at least say you tried your best.
 
I dont want to minimize the severity of someone pulling out a knife. It is very serious.



The good part is, if someone pulls a knife on you, and threatening you or are just waving it around, they are using it as a scare tactic, or as a deterant. They dont want to cut you with it at this point. Or perhaps they do, but they lack the nut for it.



Doesnt mean they arent dangerus, but there is most likely room for negotiation and de-escalation.



Most all people who get cut with knives dont see the knife before it harms them.
 
Some people are capable of using drugs recreationally, and some people are addicts. Most of the time when people are young, it's just a stage. Most soft drugs lead to harder drugs. There's not a damn thing you can do to until she realizes drugs are more bad for you than they are good. Don't alienate her by trying to get her to stop - your relationship, whatever it may be with her, will cease to exist. Be her friend and ask her to be open with you. Ask her how drugs make her feel. Ask her how she feels after she comes down from doing them. Unless she starts to do coke ALOT or starts doing heroin, I wouldn't be too concerned. It's probably just a stage. If she has a history of depression, drugs WILL make it worse. As long as she keeps her grades passing, she'll pull through it OK. When she starts failing all classes, then its time to be concerned. Feel free to PM me, I've had friends on both sides of the fence when it comes to drugs and I've also had family members that were addicts.
 
Ive been on both sides of the fence and while advice is easy to give each person is different and will respond differently. My Mom died when i was 14 and that indirectly caused me to head down the wrong path, things got bad at home with my Dad (who also died of Illness when i was 19, but that seemed to snap me out of it and get on the right track), I started skipping school, grades were barely passing if at all (I was a B average student in elementary and middle school). I got into drugs and drinking and the wrong crowd and turned my back on my "good" friends. I lost most of them, but a few were still there when it was ll over. But the nagging, pressure, threats didnt change my mind I did what i did until I had enough and turned my life around. Take that for whats its worth, but I think she'll need a shoulder to cry on once she hits bottom and wants to help herself.
 
Thats a tough situation and I don't envy you, but I think you've gotten a lot of good feedback in this thread.



I've seen it go both ways with my own friends, I've seen them get into drugs and then decide that its a mistake and go on to be fine, and I've seen them get into drugs and it destroys their future.



What you need to do now is watch. It could be a phase, or it could be a symptom of a much larger problem. To a 17 year old girl, a summer is a lifetime. Countless things could have happened to her over that summer when you weren't around. My guess is it has to do with this guy with the knife, my bet is he's the center of all of it.



If it looks like she's in real danger with this behavior and with this guy you don't have the luxury of being able to sit back and wait for this to "blow over", you have a responsibility to make sure someone who is in a position to help her knows whats going on, be that her parents, a guidance counselor, ypur principal, a teacher you trust, etc. You can't help her beyond that because you don't have the kind of authority neccisary to do it.



I would NOT mess with this guy though, you could wind up hurt or killed over that...
 
you did the right thing and backed off when buddy pulled the knife on you, and its best to stay away from situations like that if at all possible.



but in case you run into someone like that in the future who isnt just trying to scare you off.. you may want to take up some type of martial training. specially if you plan on being there for her in the future and may have to remove her from bad situations when she is willing but some of her friends may not be.



taking interest in your personal health may also be a good influence on her, dont mention it or brag to ppl or anything but usually it shows when someone has some sort of training regiment.
 
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