jaybs02
New member
*contains explicit language*
I've had this for I don't know how long and don't remember where it came from, but some here can identify with it.
Some of it may get chewed up by the censor but you''l get the drift ... enjoy.
The Diary of a Winter
DECEMBER 8th: 6:00 p.m.- It started snowing
today the first of the
season and the wife and I took our cocktails
and sat by the window
watching the beautiful soft flakes fall
placidly down all over the area.
What a lovely sight to behold.
DECEMBER 9th: We awoke to a big beautiful
blanket of crystal white snow
covering the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Every tree and shrub
was covered by a beautiful coating of snow. I
shoveled snow for the
first time in years and loved it. So
exhilirating! I shoveled both the
driveway and the sidewalks. Later a snow plow
came by and covered our
sidewalks and part of the drive, so I shoveled
once again.
DECEMBER 11th: The sun has melted all our
lovely snow. Oh well, I am
sure we will get some more before this lovely
winter is through.
DECEMBER 12th: It snowed 10 inches last night
and the temperature
dropped 20 below zero. I went outside and
shoveled the driveway and the
sidewalks. The snow plow came through and did
it's trick again.
DECEMBER 13th: It snowed another 8 inches last
night. I went out once
again to shovel. The plow came by again and
you guessed it! So I
shoveled again. Pondering the thought of
selling the station wagon and
getting a 4 x 4.
DECEMBER 14th: Well it's still snowing. It
snowed another 6 inches last
night. I sold the station wagon today and
bought a 4x4 Blazer so I can
now drive in the snow. Bought snow tires for
the wife's car.
DECEMBER 16th: It stopped snowing, now we have
freezing rain. Went
outside and fell on my ass in the driveway.
All that was hurt were my
feelings.
DECEMBER 17th: Stopped raining. The
temperature is 28 below zero and
it's starting to snow again.
DECEMBER 18th: Still colder than a
"Well-Digger's Ass" (22 below zero in
the a.m.) and the icy roads make for tough
driving.
DECEMBER 20th: We had another 14 inches of the
white xxxx last night.
More shoveling in store for me today. The damn
snow plow came by twice
today.
DECEMBER 22nd: We will be assured of a white
Christmas because 13 more
inches of that damn xxxx fell today and with
the freezing xxxxing weather
it probably won't melt until August. I got all
dressed up to go out and
shovel (boots, longjohns, snowmobile suit,
scarf, earmuffs, hat, goggles,
and gloves). Then I got the urge to piss.
DECEMBER 23rd: I was going to go ice-fishing
today but the xxxxin worms
froze and I didn't want the fish to break their
teeth on my xxxxin bait.
DECEMBER 24th: If I ever catch the
son-of-a-xxxxx that drives that damn
snow plow, I'll drag him bare assed naked
through the snow by his balls.
I think the xxxxxxx hides around the corner and
waits until I'm finished
shoveling and then comes down the street at 100
xxxxin miles per hour,
just to see how far he can throw that white
xxxx back on to my lawn and
driveway.
DECEMBER 25th: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HO xxxxin
HO! The weatherman
predicts 20 more inches of this white Bullxxxx.
I wonder if they know
just how many xxxxin shovels full of this white
xxxx 20 inches really
is? Assholes!!! xxxx Santa, he doesn't have
to bust his balls shoveling
this xxxx. He has his xxxxin elves do it for
him. The snow plow driver
came by today and asked for donations for Toys
for Tots. I wrapped him
so xxxxin hard upside the head with my snow
shovel, It'll be xxxxin
Christmas in July before the son-of-a-xxxxx
remembers his name.
DECEMBER 26th: Guess who and the xxxx got 28
inches of snow last night?
I think that I'm going snow blind or getting
severe cabin fever because
the wife is starting to look really fine to me.
DECEMBER 27th: It's so damn cold the cock
sucking toilet froze last
night. If you go outside, don't eat the yellow
or the brown snow.
DECEMBER 28th: It was so xxxxin cold last night
all the water pipes
froze. I should probably sell xxxxin tickets
so my neighbors can ice
skate in my living room.
DECEMBER 29th: I set fire to the xxxxin house.
Now I want to see that
white Bullxxxx cling to my roof.
I've had this for I don't know how long and don't remember where it came from, but some here can identify with it.
Some of it may get chewed up by the censor but you''l get the drift ... enjoy.
The Diary of a Winter
DECEMBER 8th: 6:00 p.m.- It started snowing
today the first of the
season and the wife and I took our cocktails
and sat by the window
watching the beautiful soft flakes fall
placidly down all over the area.
What a lovely sight to behold.
DECEMBER 9th: We awoke to a big beautiful
blanket of crystal white snow
covering the landscape. What a fantastic
sight! Every tree and shrub
was covered by a beautiful coating of snow. I
shoveled snow for the
first time in years and loved it. So
exhilirating! I shoveled both the
driveway and the sidewalks. Later a snow plow
came by and covered our
sidewalks and part of the drive, so I shoveled
once again.
DECEMBER 11th: The sun has melted all our
lovely snow. Oh well, I am
sure we will get some more before this lovely
winter is through.
DECEMBER 12th: It snowed 10 inches last night
and the temperature
dropped 20 below zero. I went outside and
shoveled the driveway and the
sidewalks. The snow plow came through and did
it's trick again.
DECEMBER 13th: It snowed another 8 inches last
night. I went out once
again to shovel. The plow came by again and
you guessed it! So I
shoveled again. Pondering the thought of
selling the station wagon and
getting a 4 x 4.
DECEMBER 14th: Well it's still snowing. It
snowed another 6 inches last
night. I sold the station wagon today and
bought a 4x4 Blazer so I can
now drive in the snow. Bought snow tires for
the wife's car.
DECEMBER 16th: It stopped snowing, now we have
freezing rain. Went
outside and fell on my ass in the driveway.
All that was hurt were my
feelings.
DECEMBER 17th: Stopped raining. The
temperature is 28 below zero and
it's starting to snow again.
DECEMBER 18th: Still colder than a
"Well-Digger's Ass" (22 below zero in
the a.m.) and the icy roads make for tough
driving.
DECEMBER 20th: We had another 14 inches of the
white xxxx last night.
More shoveling in store for me today. The damn
snow plow came by twice
today.
DECEMBER 22nd: We will be assured of a white
Christmas because 13 more
inches of that damn xxxx fell today and with
the freezing xxxxing weather
it probably won't melt until August. I got all
dressed up to go out and
shovel (boots, longjohns, snowmobile suit,
scarf, earmuffs, hat, goggles,
and gloves). Then I got the urge to piss.
DECEMBER 23rd: I was going to go ice-fishing
today but the xxxxin worms
froze and I didn't want the fish to break their
teeth on my xxxxin bait.
DECEMBER 24th: If I ever catch the
son-of-a-xxxxx that drives that damn
snow plow, I'll drag him bare assed naked
through the snow by his balls.
I think the xxxxxxx hides around the corner and
waits until I'm finished
shoveling and then comes down the street at 100
xxxxin miles per hour,
just to see how far he can throw that white
xxxx back on to my lawn and
driveway.
DECEMBER 25th: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HO xxxxin
HO! The weatherman
predicts 20 more inches of this white Bullxxxx.
I wonder if they know
just how many xxxxin shovels full of this white
xxxx 20 inches really
is? Assholes!!! xxxx Santa, he doesn't have
to bust his balls shoveling
this xxxx. He has his xxxxin elves do it for
him. The snow plow driver
came by today and asked for donations for Toys
for Tots. I wrapped him
so xxxxin hard upside the head with my snow
shovel, It'll be xxxxin
Christmas in July before the son-of-a-xxxxx
remembers his name.
DECEMBER 26th: Guess who and the xxxx got 28
inches of snow last night?
I think that I'm going snow blind or getting
severe cabin fever because
the wife is starting to look really fine to me.
DECEMBER 27th: It's so damn cold the cock
sucking toilet froze last
night. If you go outside, don't eat the yellow
or the brown snow.
DECEMBER 28th: It was so xxxxin cold last night
all the water pipes
froze. I should probably sell xxxxin tickets
so my neighbors can ice
skate in my living room.
DECEMBER 29th: I set fire to the xxxxin house.
Now I want to see that
white Bullxxxx cling to my roof.
